Thursday, July 5, 2007

I’m All Atwitter

Starting next week, I’m going to have a new fictional neighbor in my building from the awsomist show in the history of television.

If, during the shooting, I happen to run into her in the elevator, I’m going to beg her to brutalize the ever living shit out of me. I mean to just wail on my face and leave it a black and blue bloody mess. That way, when my friends ask me what the hell happened, I can proudly mumble through missing teeth, swollen lips and a broken jaw, “Kima did it.”

I’ll totally feel like Marsha Brady when Davy Jones kissed her on the cheek:

*

Only Baltimore style.

*Okay, I couldn’t find the exact scene I was looking for; but if Kima says no, I’ll feel exactly like Marsha did when that studio shill wouldn’t let her meet him.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

And you'll never wash that broken jaw again!

Anonymous said...

By the way, the title of this post scared me. I thought you had signed up for this. /shudder.

DBDP said...

ewwww. I've fallen so far on the internet wayside that I can proudly say I've never heard of that "twitter."

Knowing you, I was hoping "twitter" had some depraved sexual meaning that I've never heard of. You know, something that happens in close proximity to table twats or something.

tfg said...

Everything you need to know about Twitter is encompassed in the first 4 letters of the word.

Maurice Bradbury said...

Wow, Kima moved off of Merrymount to an apartment? Is she divorcing her new-age-musician husband?

DBDP said...

Silly Cybrarian, you’re mixing up fact and fiction.

Real life=Hippy dippy new age husband.
Wireverse=Lesbocop

It is my understanding that the storyline resulting in Kima moving into my building involves her character development. Apparently... supposedly... Kima is going accept more responsibility off the hands of her lesbo baby momma and be a better Manlymomma to their child. Kima gets a new 2 bedroom apartment in my building so she can have a nursery for their little brat. Bad move, if you ask me, as my building is FULL of chipping leaded paint, which could cause her child to become just another tard in the city of Pleasant Living.