I’m All Atwitter

Starting next week, I’m going to have a new fictional neighbor in my building from the awsomist show in the history of television.

If, during the shooting, I happen to run into her in the elevator, I’m going to beg her to brutalize the ever living shit out of me. I mean to just wail on my face and leave it a black and blue bloody mess. That way, when my friends ask me what the hell happened, I can proudly mumble through missing teeth, swollen lips and a broken jaw, “Kima did it.”

I’ll totally feel like Marsha Brady when Davy Jones kissed her on the cheek:

*

Only Baltimore style.

*Okay, I couldn’t find the exact scene I was looking for; but if Kima says no, I’ll feel exactly like Marsha did when that studio shill wouldn’t let her meet him.