Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone pointing a gun at your neighbors, *especially* when that neighbor is holding a child in his hands; but man, what a passive aggressive, whiny, bitch of a human this neighbor, David Paul Ayers, is?
Police said in a detailed report that Keegan has been involved in a long-running dispute with David Paul Ayers, 38, who has complained about cigarette smoke coming from Keegan's rowhouse.
The latest argument started after 11 last night. Police said Ayers complained that smoke was seeping into his home and his daughter, Sophie, was having trouble breathing. Ayers called for a paramedic and he, carrying his child, and his wife Christine went next door to confront Keegan.
Ayers told police that he pounded on Keegan's front door and heard someone say, "You [expletive] lunatics, get away from my door." Ayers told police that he shouted back through a first-floor window, "'Look at what you're doing to my daughter.'"
Good Lord, over dramatic much? Yes, I am sure that your child was suffocating to death because you could smell a lit cigarette through an open window. It is a wonder the human race didn’t die out from second hand smoke in the last century. Forget the Holocaust! Forget slavery! Second hand smoke is indeed history’s greatest blemish on humanity.
Had you not been carrying your child at the time, which in itself was grossly negligent, given that the house was a veritable cancer cube and your daughter is obviously more delicate than a tuburcular orchid, I would be nominating Frank J. Keegan as man of the year.
I wish passive aggressive Bitchism was a felony.
